Black: Good Times Red: Bad Times Blue: Paradoxical Occurrence
17/12/11 stranger at tube station taps me on shoulder and asks if i'd like his travel card. he doesn't need it and it'll save me some money he says. ok, thanks i says.
20/12/11 receive surprise package from the post master. contains a brown floral print pashmina. looks exactly like one i own. in fact, looks just like the one im wearing right now...
21/12/11 that lovely jumper i wanted ages ago but was hesitant to buy becuse it was way too 'spensive just went down 50% in the sales
25/12/11 dinner exploded
28/12/11 man in hardware shop gave me screws for free. they'd lost their sheen and didn't look nice he says. just what i was after i says
30/12/11 'bring a bottle of water and something to piss in'
31/12/11 elf wishes good luck and a happy new year
01/01/12 found a Yorkie bar on the street. unopened. chilled
02/01/12 rats arrive home
03/01/12 somebody didn't eat their baguette. that's a free lunch for me
09/01/12 unexpected 25% discount on a pair of child mittens
10/01/12 boot lace busted. bloody bitch
11/01/12 new school uniform. shiny silver combats. big purple lion. fuck my life...
11/01/12 free lunch. big ol bowl a pesto pasta, (and salad), to take home for dinner. should last a couple days
13/01/12 friday the 13th. could go either way really...
13/01/12 free balloon from Barclays Bank
13/01/12 free drawstring bag from Virgin Active health club
13/01/12 impromptu meetup leads to a shoe sale. ridiculous reduction to £35. down from £110. safe to say Friday 13th was all win
13/01/12 hat rape. seriously unpleased
14/01/12 a most depressing of most fucking depressing days. kill me now, BANG!
14/01/12 fucked the photocopier
14/01/12 'raise your swagger. wear True Religion'. insulted. how embarrassing
16/01/12 er, happy birthday to me?
16/01/12 cute lady in cafe gave me free cookie with my pot of tea. x
16/01/12 the only thing this colds been good for is keeping my sack of fish fresh
16/01/12 randomer offers a sweet in another cafe. not so cute but nice still
18/01/12 free face mask
18/01/12 Rebecca. oo la la
20/01/12 happy birthday to me again. presents this time, Ratatouille!
20/01/12 found £5 in da club
21/01/12 12pm start. love days like these
21/01/12 'FUCKING PERFECT!'
21/01/12 'anything but clothes'. not. my. scene.
22/01/12 02.50am phone call. don't think so mate
23/01/12 i'm sure there was something important i had to do today...
24/01/12 one week since glitter incident. piss still sparkles
25/01/12 Snack Shortcake bar hangs loose in the vending machine. *peeks around corner* yardie kick. that bitch is mine!
26/01/12 is this mother fucker high!?
27/01/12 'i'm so happy you're not rubbish'
28/01/12 emergency Milky Bar time
30/01/12 rat ate headphones
31/01/12 £5 HMV voucher
05/02/12 midnight sledging
09/02/12 she put it back
10/02/12 seat E14. my lucky number
14/02/12 found pound in the mosha meen
17/02/12 'don't come in till 1'. alright, back to bed then
18/02/12 it's a lurgy
26/02/12 the evangelista is moving out. hally-loo-yah!
27/02/12 jazz man john and his band of merry men invite us in to their tow
01/03/12 you don't like? oh well, i'll have it then
02/03/12 'dark horse, come with me to the toilet...'
02/03/12 '...i have a tiny vagina'
03/03/12 worst saturday ever. you can fuck right off
03/03/12 'look, if i ask for it and he takes me into a little white room and puts rubber gloves on i won't be fucking happy. do you understand?'
04/03/12 busted friendship bracelet. must be some kind of unluck attached to that
05/03/12 free pot of tea? thank you very much bro
06/03/12 <3 <3 <3 07/03/12 gust of wind launches hat out into the road. taxi bobs and weves trying to avoid running it over. brave stranger jumps out in front of taxi and grabs it. hat is returned to owner. proof right there that this city really loves me 07/03/12 'you are always positive' 07/03/12 two 50 pence pieces. that's a pound. and is now mine 09/03/12 oh Marie, oo - la - la! 10/03/12 good nights sleep means i'm ahead of the curve 10/03/12 secret 20 pence compartment 10/03/12 you have magic handshake. feel like prostitute 10/03/12 'so i'll be down in the basement, yeah...' 10/03/12 denim cut off, crop topping whore house hell 10/03/12 being identified as a potential drug dealer is always flattering. you cunt 11/03/12 poltergeist kicked the curtain down 17/03/12 modern man 24/03/12 'mate, you wear a bowler hat. the world is right' 28/03/12 which rat thought it'd be a good idea to gnaw through flatmates network cable? i'm happy you've shown loyalty but it's cost me 20 quid 28/03/12 ...temporarily deprived of shit house and Beyonce 29/03/12 fairweather people, where were you when the sun didn't shine? now get the fuck off my spot 02/04/12 rats be gerbils 07/04/12 brighton hajj 09/04/12 she touched me ♥ 11/04/12 behold mouse haven 13/04/12 Friday 13 again... 13/04/12 fancy meeting up tonight? (should've said no...) 14/04/12 xenophobic surrounded by french 14/04/12 'one of us here has to be exotic' 14/04/12 should've bought our own meat 14/04/12 i'm not your bruv, bruv 15/04/12 a bowtie away from the nation of islam 16/04/12 i think i'm in your house... 20/04/12 vending machine. loose kitkat. drop kick. mine 23/04/12 you dress very nice. like a singer ... 20/04/13 another year, another homosexual proposition 21/04/13 'hey big guy. i like your style' ... 05/07/15 'and that'll be £1.50 please' 12/07/15 your mixture is wrong. sculpture fail 12/07/15 hey, the model won't be available until mid August...